Me do marketing good

What do you think of the following marketing ideas?

Because my social media accounts want my involvement with them to be a commercial endeavour. And lots of people who make music seem to think there should be a music business of the kind they imagine existed from about the 50s to about the year 2000.

So I guess I had better get with the programme and start marketing my music.

I have noticed that big brands these days don’t mention their products and instead talk about feelings. They try to co-opt your experiences of family, or friendship or companionship and say ‘hey, buy our stuff and you’ll have those feelings’. I can do that.

Here are my advert ideas:

1.Being a parent is good. Buy my CDs.

It’s a rainy Sunday morning. We see a dad standing at the sidelines, cheering on his son who is playing football (not his mum. Sport is a dad thing. This is advert land. Only stereotypes exist). It is rainy and dad is tired. We see a montage of him leaving for work the previous morning, before his kids got up, and coming home after they went to bed. We see the alarm going off to wake him up. He looks sleepy and tired and sleepy.

But he takes his son to football. A matey other dad hands him a cup of coffee. He yawns.

Then his son scores a football goal and dad cheers him on. The son turns round and he is wearing a Tom Slatter t-shirt and has my face. He is tiny an childlike, but has my adult face. Dad and Slatter-son hug and are triumphant.

Slogan appears: Parenting is tiring but worth it. This music is now associated with this feeling of worth. Buy my cds.

2.Old age is scary, but you will care for your elderly relatives. Buy my CDs.

An old woman is alone in a flat in black and white. She sees the world pass by through her window. She is old and afraid and lonely and afraid. Knives and hoodies and electric lights flash past. A man with a non-specific European accent menaces her by existing. She is alone and afraid. You do not want to be her.

A younger woman, who you identify with, visits with flowers and chocolates. The film becomes colour. They talk and laugh and have a cup of tea and the women who is you nods and smiles and patronises.

The woman open the chocolates. Each one is a miniature Tom Slatter CD.

Slogan appears: Old age is scary but you are a good person who will visit old people. This music is now associated with your charity. Buy my cds.

What do you reckon? Will those work? Do you have any other ideas for how I could use the power of marketing to hoodwink gullible idiots into buying my cds?

(PS you can stream all music for free here).

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